You know, I have been writing a lot on here about persuasion and I think that it’s appropriate for me to explain the difference between manipulation and inspiration. True, both of them are means of persuasion but there is a great deal of difference between them.

You see, manipulation is more of a technique-based, quick fix solution which is not so good for producing long term results and building relationships based on trust. Inspiration however, is much more effective in the long term for building trust because it is based on a person’s true nature.

What is the difference?
Glad you asked.

Manipulation is an attempt the persuade someone with behaviors which are inconsistent with your genuine character. Whether the behaviors are considered to be “good” or “bad” is not the point. If they are behaviors which are not an honest reflection of who you are, that is manipulation.

For example, say that a couple goes out for the first time and the man is the typical “nice boy” who buys flowers and takes the woman out to a nice dinner and buys her an expensive gift…

Awe, isn’t that sweet?

On the other hand, say that another couple goes out and the man doesn’t buy her anything but expects her to pay her way. No expensive gift, no flowers, he just acts as he normally would with someone who he is getting together with.

Tsk, Tsk.

Now who is treating her better?

Well, unless this is the manner in which Mr, Nice Guy conducts himself at all times he is doing something which is outside of his character simply because he WANTS SOMETHING!

Hey, nothing wrong with wanting things…..but what is this going to mean for BOTH the man and the woman once his true colors begin to show?

You see, one of these men is being himself and saying: “This is who I am, take me as I am.”

Ok, so he may not get a second date, but you can bet if he does that he isn’t making beds in a burning house like Mr. Nice Guy.

I mean think about it…who can you trust more?

It reminds me of the riddle about the three knights who are all called to speak at a trial. One of them ALWAYS tells the truth, one of them ALWAYS lies and the other SOMETIMES tells the truth and sometimes lies.

Which one can you trust the most? The answer is a tie between the liar and the truth teller. After all, you can always trust the liar to be a liar. You know what to expect.

It’s the people whose behaviors are conditional and therefore ever changing that you have to watch out for.

Give me a silent nod if you feel me here.

So does this mean that persuasion is inspiring someone by “just being yourself?”

Well, it’s a bit more than that. It is inspiring someone by being your BEST self….a self who you have made a long term commitment to for the sake of your own life and for the life of those who you interact with. It is the person who you are NO MATTER who you are around or what is happening in your life.

This assures that the behaviors which are used to inspire a person in the beginning are going to be there to back up the original promise that they made.

If not, things will end up worse off in the long run.

If you have your own business, this means that your marketing messages and brand promises are consistent with the quality of your products, the dependability of the systems that you have in place and the integrity of the people who you have working for you.

In other words: “Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.”

Even if the promises that you made are all sweet and pink and flowery….if they cannot be backed up they are a sugar coated cyanide pill.

For an example of this, look at the life of Mahatma Gandhi. His life story reveals that his ability to inspire people came as a result of him first being able to govern HIS life by the principles which he eventually began to inspire in others.

He said: “We must become the change that we seek in the world.”

Done deal.

For additional information on this subject see posts: Character vs Talent and Character vs Personality

Look forward to hearing your feedback and questions.

-To Your Success, Seth Czerepak

 

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