How’s it going Humans?

Not for the first time in my life, I am sitting here thankful that I was born when I was. You see, you humans talk a lot about how much human life has improved over the past few centuries.  But did you know that doggy life has been going through its ups and downs as well? 

I mean, on the one hand, there aren’t very many of us left out there who aren’t totally domesticated.

Let’s face it, you guys breed like rabbits and there really aren’t that many wide-open spaces for wild dogs to roam about in anymore.

Before you get all offended, let me remind you that canines are your best friends.  It’s not like we aren’t grateful for all of the companionship you’ve given us over the course of history. And trust me, we doggies know that we wouldn’t be fighting off big predators without your help…but sometimes we do lament the fact that our wild brethren are losing their lands.

BUT I sure am thankful that I wasn’t alive in the time that Old Yeller was.

WTF?  I know, I know, he was sick and old, and yeller…(I never DID get whether that meant that he had a great yellow coat like myself or if he just barked a lot…)  But a gun…a long walk…a barn…COME ON!  Not exactly what I would call humane…

I’ll tell you what that freaking morbid tale of murder taught this doggy:

Number 1:  Never trust a kid with a rifle

Number 2: Your Health is all you’ve got

So take it from me. The best way to extend your life aka not be “taken behind the ole barn” is to stay fit. I do that by jogging every day with one of my servants. Or, if they are both being couch potatoes, I just go out in the backyard and run around by myself. 

You know, there are a lot of things that other people can do to you to mess up your day or your week. But when it comes to taking care of your body, that’s all on you and you can’t expect someone else to do it for you. That said, you can’t blame anyone else if your bad habits end up making your trip behind the old barn come way earlier than you intended.

That book gave me nightmares for WEEKS people…it’s just NOT RIGHT!

Mildly offended by human literature,

Rocky

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