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What Human TV Commercials Taught Me About Love:

21 January 2010

 

Hey humans,

There is someone here who wants to have a chat with you:

Hey there!

I hope that you are having a beautiful day.

Wow, the sun is sure shining in the sky eh?

And what with the birds singing and the grass growing…

It makes you think about one thing and one thing only.

Death.

Wow! Did I just say that?

I meant it makes you think about LOVE!

That’s right. Sunny days always make you think about love, right?

Think about all of those people that you love most.

Your parents…they sure are neat huh?

And then there’s your spouse!

What a looker!

And your beautiful children

Those darn rascals!

What would you do without them, eh?

Just thinking about all those super-tacular people makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside right?

You betcha!

In fact, it makes you feel like letting them know how much you care. 

Doesn’t it?

I mean, you do want them to know how much you love them right?

I mean, you do actually love them, right?

So tell them now!

Why should you wait?

You are the freaking salt of the earth.

Salt doesn’t wait.

That’s right.

Salt goes out there and gets what salt wants.

You know why?

Because you could die tomorrow!

I know, I know, trust me salty, I hate to think about you dying…

In fact, I hate to think about you dying even more than YOU hate to think about it.

That’s right.

That’s how awesome I think that you are.

That is how much you mean to me.

But you will die.

And when you die, how will the people that you love know that you loved them?

They won’t!

If you die tomorrow no one will know you loved them at all!!!!

Unless….

Wait a minute!

I think I’ve found a way to make them know!

What’s that you say?

Tell You?

Okay, stop twisting my arm.

I’ll tell you.

You can make them know that you loved them by…..

Showering them in material possessions!

That’s right?

If you don’t kill yourself buying them everything that they want

They will not think that you love them.

L

Sad eh?

So go ahead, commit the real act of love.

Buy a bunch of stuff for everyone that you love so that they will love you back.

Oh…and so that they will know that you love them.

It’s the only way.

Trust me,

Love,

Your Credit Cards.

Ouch…

Love,

Rocky

_________________

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